Lamp-hungry Moths Invade the Torch Office

By Kristin McKee
Multimedia Editor

Queen Moth caught lackin’ in a moth rave

The Torch newspaper introduced a fresh tagline earlier this school year: “Bringing the Truth to Light.” Little did the staff know that the truth would be accompanied by an invasion of moths ravenous for light.  

Editor-in-chief Zachary Wright said he was making his way down to the Torch office one Friday afternoon for production day, sipping away his iced tea from Dunkin Donuts. As he got closer to the office door, he heard a strange sound coming from inside. Wright punched in the door code, skeptically walked in and encountered thousands of moths fluttering around the room.

“The sound that came out of my mouth was inhumane,” Wright said. “I jumped up and spilled my tea all over the place, but that’s normal for me.”

Wright said he sent out a group-text to the editing staff suggesting they cancel production that day because of the infestation, but all of them complained that they were already on their way to the office and cancelling production would not be in the newspaper’s best interest. The editors believed the moth situation could not be “that bad.” Wright disagreed on the editors’ view of the severity but agreed to move forward with production. To Wright’s surprise, however, production carried on normally despite the moths’ uninvited presence.

“I was too focused on editing one article for over an hour to really notice the moths,” managing editor, Evi Arthur said. “They mainly stayed close to the ceiling where all of our lights are, so they were not much of a bother.”

Copy editor Drew Modjeski thought that the moths were a nice addition to the Torch office. “The way I see it, having the moths here symbolizes the light The Torch ignites,” Modjeski said. “If the Torch’s light is bright enough to attract this many moths, then our stories must be bright enough to attract readers.”

The moth infestation did not stop there. Wright revealed that the moths have also invaded the Torch’s private Facebook group where editors and reporters communicate outside of the office throughout the week. Their cover photo displays a photo taken of what the staff believes is the “queen moth” in the mist of their daily office party. That’s right, the moths continue to invade the office every day since Wright’s first encounter with them.

Wright and the rest of the Torch staff agreed to keep the moth situation under wraps to preserve the newspaper’s (somewhat) spotless reputation, until now. Overtime, Wright began to have a change of heart. He believed that the infestation was not a reflection of the Torch and their hygiene status but rather a reflection on Roosevelt’s hygiene status.

“The university should have performed some type of sanitation procedure to prevent this situation from happening in the first place,” Wright said. “It’s unacceptable and irresponsible.”

Coming up with a solution to end this infestation once and for all has been a challenge. An order was made to exterminate all the moths, but the order was brought to a halt after many Roosevelt students expressed outrage over the “unethical” approach.  

“Just because something is gross and scary does not mean you should kill it,” freshman student Abee Ew said as she swatted a bee away from her face.  

Wright is still in the process of putting an end to this invasion, but the rest of the Torch staff do not seem to be in rush to get rid of the moths.

“If you think about it, the moths look like snow refusing to hit the ground,” Arthur said. “It’s actually a beautiful and interesting sight.”

“I don’t know why Zac wants them gone so bad. They’re so much fun,” Modjeski said with a smirk on his face.

Categories: Recent Posts, The Scorch

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