RU Applauds Its First Bash Buck Millionaire

Julia Banks
Staff Reporter

A flyer promoting the cash-in of Bash Bucks is an example of RU’s attempt to get students involved with the currency. Photo courtesy of @RUResLife.

Founded in 1945, Roosevelt has waited eagerly for students to cash in the school’s playful form of currency, coined “Bash Bucks.” Although students’ interest in Bash Bucks and all other forms of school spirit have been low in the past, 2019 may have changed this mentality.

On March 19, 2019,  a new record was broken when Michael Raymond revealed that inside his closet, he had discreetly stored Bash Bucks in his past three and a half years at RU. An impromptu cash-in session in the Office of Residence Life revealed that Raymond had indeed saved over a million Bash Bucks, effectively crushing the previous record holder Ashley Cunningham’s amount of 132 Bash Bucks.

     “You wouldn’t believe how many of these Res Life gives away,” Raymond, a senior marketing major, said. “They’re literally throwing fistfuls of Bash Bucks at me for attending things.”

On average, Wabash students attend 1.3 events a semester. Raymond, on average, has attended 87 events a semester. He estimated that by the end of this semester, he will have attended 682 RU events.

       “This kid’s a madman,” RA Stevie Walsh, senior biology major, said. “I see him everywhere – every event, every RA led thing we’re forced to do. Wait, can you cut out the ‘forced’ part?” (Note: We could not.) “Anyway, yeah, I’m kind of terrified of him. Who has that much free time?”

Raymond is a full time student but is not involved in any RU-affiliated clubs or sports. He claimed to have a certain level of disdain for school spirit.

      “Life is a game, and I’m in it to win it,” he said.

He has remained elusive about his motives with his Bash Bucks, as well as why he had stored them in his closet for safekeeping. His roommate, George Kastens, said there were strict rules in the room, enforced by Raymond.

     “We weren’t allowed to go on his side of the room, or go to any events he wanted to go to,” Kastens said. “I kind of shrugged it off. I didn’t ever wanna go to ‘Midterm Yoga Sessions’ or ‘Feelings Circles at Midnight’ or anything like that. I’m a dude.”

      “I’m a dude,” Raymond said mockingly. “He may be a dude, but I’m a winner.”

      “We’ve tried to explain to him that Bash Bucks don’t get exchanged into real bucks for three years now,” Walsh said. “I don’t know if he’s figured it out – he may just think that we’re dumb and that if you keep it until your senior year, you get real money. It’s paper, like, cheap paper. You can literally print out your own if you really want to.”

Walsh’s comments are a reference to a Bash Buck money laundering scandal that took place in 2014, when a pair of students were printing their own fake bucks and distributing the fake currency back into the RU economy.

Raymond hopes that his bash buck collection technique can impress future employers.

   “This is worth more than my degree,” he said.     To celebrate Raymond’s achievements, Dr. Ali Malekzadeh, the university president, will be presenting Raymond with a large fake check at an ceremony on April 1st.

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