This article is from the Torch’s satire issue, the Scorch.
On a break from a round of golf at the Mar-a-lago, President Donald Trump took to Twitter to voice his opinion on Roosevelt University’s financial issues.
“Failing @RooseveltU in Chicago, which is a very bad city in need of some serious help, is in a huge financial crisis. What a disaster. Sad!” said the president in a tweet to his millions of followers.
This is the first time a sitting U.S. president has tweeted about Roosevelt. University President Ali Malekzadeh could not be reached for comment, but was rumored to be drafting a response to Trump through his Twitter account @RUPrezAli.
The specifics of his impending reply remain unconfirmed. However, sources told the Torch that Malekzadeh is considering telling President Trump that more people go to school at Roosevelt than attended his Inauguration ceremony in January.
Trump’s tweet about Roosevelt came in a series of angry posts to the social media site. The president was not angry about the failure of the GOP’s replacement for the Affordable Care Act, but rather a puzzling set of topics ranging from stairs to .
“The haters and losers like to say that I am afraid of stairs but they have no proof. FAKE NEWS!” reads one tweet. In a follow up post, the president said that his opponent Hillary Clinton is afraid of stairs and that the “fake news media” should “check that out.”
President Trump was later seen holding hands with his 10 year old son Barron while heading down a small flight of stairs. Sources said young Barron was overheard complaining to his father and calling him a “loser” for needing his help.
The president’s final tweet of the day was a collage of picture of himself and Vladimir Putin with the caption “Donald + Vladimir = LOVE 4EVER. They’ll never know what we have between us.”
The post was quickly deleted and news stories about it were later deemed as fake news written by the “failing losers at the New York Times” by Trump.