By Shawn Gakhal
Photos by Breanna Walsh
I’m sure we’ve all been there — looking dapper as hell — while your date texts and nonchalantly asks, “When is the bill coming?”
Your blood is rushing, and it’s not the good kind of rush.
Trying to salvage the date is all but lost when he or she asks if this place serves sushi, and you’re at TGI Fridays. (This actually happened to a friend of mine.)
Everything always seems to go wrong on these types of dates.
It’s something to do with Murphy’s Law — I don’t know, something like that.
You purposefully forgot your coat because you wanted to show off your new, black Ralph Lauren blazer that hasn’t even been noticed.
You even got a new haircut, but no, he or she doesn’t notice. All that matters is how many likes that person got on Instagram for their selfie with the waiter, who looked so confused.
We’ve all, indeed, been there, and talking about these horrendous experiences is therapeutic — at least, I think and hope it is.
The Torch sought out the worst date stories of fellow Rooseveltians:
“There was this one guy who had a motorcycle, and he was way shorter than me. He picked me up, and I had to ask my parents — I was younger than 18 at the time — and my parents were freaking out. He was severely shorter than me. So, I get on the back of the motorcycle, and I’m feeling like a gigantic lady, and I was just like, ‘This is terrible!’ It was the worst feeling ever. He tried to hold my hand at the movie theatre. First date at a movie theatre? No, that’s a bad idea.”
Major: Computer Science
“[My date and I] came to a restaurant, and we ordered some drinks, and for some reason, it just didn’t work out. We had no chemistry, even though we talked briefly on the phone before the date. When we started to talk over drinks, our opinions on everything were different. It was like talking to a completely different person than the one I talked to on the phone. Last time I ever let my friends set me up on a date.”
Computer Lab Manager & Adjunct Instructor in the Department of Communication
“I can’t remember, but maybe this was OkCupid, which always pretends to be a dating site, but is secretly a hookup site. Anyways, so he is like this documentarian, and he did this documentary about jazz and the Polish community in Chicago, and he sounded really cool. Everyone always seems cool online. There were these two women sitting next to us [at a restaurant], and they’re both like these beautiful blonde women, and they’re speaking a language that I don’t know. Apparently, he knew [the language], and the whole time he was just staring at [one of] them and said, ‘Sorry, I keep looking at her, but she’s very striking.’ It’s like okay … dick.”